A couple days ago I wrote about fear (you can read that here) It was a really heavy post, I know. It was a lot of introspection on my part. But it made me think. I am so much more than the moments I doubt my worth. And though I slip into panic about school sometimes, there’s so much more for me in that.
This is one of those posts that began as a journal entry. Considering how deeply rooted some of my anxiety is (see last post), I decided to give it to the Internet to read. These are the big things I’m praying for as I head into this new season:
- That I remember that my worth is not defined by my achievements and works, but often in spite of them.
- I am no less loved depending on my grades or what clubs I’m in in, and even then I’m loved far more then I can understand.
- I pray that I will never mistake and settle for comfort or complacency, and that I’m always content and consistent.
- I am at my best when I am weak and rely on God’s strength.
- That I am never so nervous I compromise myself.
- That I remember to relax, because sometimes that’s more important than doing well.
- That I am able to go out of my way to form friendships, even though I might be uncomfortable.
- That I leam that a little discomfort is okay, and risks are not always safe and that’s a good thing.
- That I never sacrifice relationships for academic success.
- That I remember that vulnerability takes effort and relationships take work.
- I don’t want to hide for fear of rejection, but instead be gracious and honest.
- That I be quick to admit I’m wrong and quicker to forgive.
- That I know that I am loved, important and purposeful, even when I don’t feel like it, and make sure everyone around me knows that they are, too.
- That I love deeply, especially the people I may not want to.
- That I’m able to focus and get what needs to be done done.
- To paraphrase a neat prayer my mom prayed: that I am teachable, but that I am also a strong leader.
- That I prioritize and manage my time and resources well, even though there will be more fun things happening I’d rather be a part of.
- That I meet every day head on, and am excited to learn and to grow.
- That I consistently be gracious and grace-full. Everyone knows I won’t be graceful.
- That if and when I should fail, I do so well….
- ….and that I’m not consumed by shame.
- For me not be overwhelmed and anxious. I have a tendency to let that happen.
- That I remember my needs and attend to them, despite feeling that it’s inconvenient or awkward.
- But also that I serve others diligently.
- That I pass all my finals and major tests, do well on the SAT, am involved in all the ways I want and need to be, and still have time for lunch dates with my friends.
But most importantly, that I consistently walk and grow in the Lord and point those around me to do the same.